Thursday, January 3, 2013

The art of dreaming with contentedness

I have always been a believer in romantic gestures: knights in shining armor, white horses, every girl is a princess, etc.  The power a daydream to transport to you to another time and place, the power of a look or a smile, butterflies in the stomach, that feeling when two people first hold hands and every thought flies to places unknown, these are the things that I know and believe happen.  Sometimes I get too caught up in the day to day humdrum and worry, I get caught in the view ending at my nose.  Suddenly the belief in romantics wavers, the light behind my eyes dims, the smile playing about the corners of my mouth disappears, and I feel less than.  Less than what I don’t know, but there it is, that terrible habit of comparison that so many of us are guilty of.  Sometimes I am strong enough to pull myself out of it, sometimes God sends some sort of a symbolic (or not) slap in the face, a reminder of how unique and individual your story is, a reminder of how your story may lend someone else strength or courage or inspiration.  These ‘slaps’ have come in the form of a few gentle words, a few harsh words, a simple gift, or a glimpse under the shell of someone else’s life that I thought was perfect.  It is some sort of imperceptible shift in perspective and my fairytale again comes into focus.  I start remembering that I do have a knight in shining armor (or jeans and boots), we do have a white horse (and 12 others), I am treated like his queen (which trumps princess any day).  This last reminder came in the form of a print from a friend. 
Sir Frank Dicksee: La belle dame sans merci

When I saw it I was reminded of a few pictures of my husband and I that mirrored it.  
Thanks Alyssa Lapuh for the pic

So for today I will forget the bills that are late, the bathroom that needs cleaned, the trivial things that drag me down.  Today I will make the time for memories, my horses will get ridden, my lips will again turn upwards, I will pay attention to the fluttering in my stomach when he looks at me and smiles, we will unabashedly hold hands.  Today I will not fall prey to comparison, today I will revel in the uniqueness of our story of my story, I will look with bright eyes towards the future, I will smell the roses.

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